Saturday, September 20, 2008

'meant to be' isn't what i meant

I'm the type that gets seasick, if you call that a 'type.' It's not that I need to be in control. In fact, I'm cut out for the sea. I've always liked the feeling of being rocked, even of drifting. I am a bit of a drifter. But I drift with some kind of rudder and tac, aligning with an inner purpose often unknown to me. Funny how surrendering to the wave can look like a decision or intention.

Faith comes into the equation quite early. Faith that where ever the journey takes me can offer another way to live my passion. Don't mistake this with fate. I'm not the type to say that everything is 'meant to be.' It's more that everything provides an opportunity for growth. This I believe.

When you're feeling seasick, you should look to the horizon. I can relate to this. Like now, when I'm feeling a bit nauseated with my work, I look off to the horizon to steady myself, to surrender, to find faith in what's next.

I've been waiting for some vision to strike me. Some aha moment. But it hasn't come. Instead, I feel a restlessness, and somewhere from the back of my head, there is a voice that speaks up more frequently. A call that draws me to the horizon.

Ironically, my feet are firmly rooted now. The only thing afloat is my desire.

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